Records of a Mad Scientist: Halloween Madness

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween Madness

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.-- Mean Girls

Once again, I feel woefully unprepared for my life. Tonight we celebrated Halloween. Last year I was a non-slutty faery. I had big blue and black irridencent wings, and AT did my hair in blue and silver sparkles and my eyes in blue sparkles. We found a really cute top at target, which I wore with jeans and my leather jacket. When I left undergrad, I had to make choices about what I could take with me. My chemistry books outranked a $10 pair of fairy wings from the costume shop.

This year, I came up with 3 possible costumes friday night: recreate the faery here, wear my Rocky Horror Corset from freshman year with jeans, or be a femme fatale (except that I might only be a fille fatale).

A survey for friends and family revealed that votes were 2 for the fairy, 1 for a corest wearing fairy and 1 for "u gotz 2 tel mom amd dad they need 2 step off ther alway up in my biznes and it ant fucking ok". Since I ignored the final, faery took a definate lead, until I got to the costume store in town. Women's costumes come in 2 varieties: skimpy and barely there. There were no irridecent fairy wings, only cheap feathery angel ones.

So, I went to plan (b), the femme fatal. I went out and bought red lipstick and black eye makeup. I almost bought a curling iron, but decided that was just over the top. My hair will hold a wave, but it won't hold a curl. It was fine, until I tried to get into my dress. Let's just say that I've lost and gained a little weight since I bought it in Spain. I could barely get the 6 euro (originally 40) dress on originally. It took two people to get me zipped into it. Also, I can't really walk in it. I'm too short. It needs a slit up the back... Make up already on, I transitioned quickly to a very tight white t-shirt (I don't think I can run it through the dryer anymore), loose black pants from a fat period, my corset and above the elbow black gloves that a I bought for plan (b). I looked ... different. Not in a bad way. My eyes and lips stood out against my pale skin. My hair was loose, and a little bit frizzy. I look pretty good in a corset... its not like the clothes I normally wear.

Br and his roommate, RJ were having a party at their house. You may or may not remember them, since RJ is the proud owner of Bear, the creepy crotch-sniffing dog. RJ is older, and sort of protective. He's seen shit that I'll never see... but I've see shit that he can't even imagine. He got me talking, drew me out. I dislike crowds. I d. islike loosing control. I don't like loud noises. My body spends enough time fililtering out the things it thinks are toxins, and the ones that I come in contact with every day that stressing out my liver with alcohol seems like a bad idea. Its an even worse one when you consider that alcohol is a depressant, and I had something like a breakdown on Thursday (What kind of University Police Department doesn't jump cars for their students?)

I stuck to squirt most of the night, while RJ had his rum and coke. He started flirting with me, trying to draw me out. I smiled a few times for him, let him buy me a drink. I think he was flirting with me, and at one point, he suggested taking off my t-shirt. Like that was going to happe. I didn't know how to deal with it. I'm socially stupid. I'm comitted to AD, a fact that I reminded RJ of many times. The trust is that I was a little uncomfortable with him as soon as he started flirting. I'm not a pretty girl.... I have neither the personality or the physical traits required to meet that particular gold standard. I don't know how to deal with people flirting with me...

We ended up downtown. I don't really like going out to crowded bars like the place we were tonight. It gets very smoky. I like the sports bar across the street, Cubby's. The booths are comfortable, and they let you keep the wall at your back while watching the door. The mixed drinks are good, but expensive. The mojitos are excellent. The Pope and a Zombie tried to hit on me tonight. This is the last time I go outwith eye makeup and loose hair... or a corset.

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Cast of Characters

AC -- AD's roommate. Famous for his frustration with his own epic procrastination and ability to curse the latin word on the tip of his tongue.
AD -- my boyfriend. Its new... and exciting... and hard from this distance. An aerospace engineer. Still goes to the famous former football giant across the road from the castle where I went to undergrad.
BD -- one of my best friends from undergrad. Another ex-boyfriend and part of my incestious little circle of friends. Has rigid boundaries that serve him well. Math major and genius.
Dr.jR -- head of the chemistry and biochemistry department. Researches NOM (not eating, sadly, but natural organic material). Nice, but unpredicatble.
DrA -- my research boss. Somewhere in his thirties and totally chill. The first PI I've ever met who bakes cookies during lab meetings.
DrR -- my teaching boss. Crotchety old man who doesn't take shit. Slightly sexist. Smokes like a chimney. A teddy bear.
JL -- our post doc in lab. Chineese. Tells me not to work so hard.
JP -- an ex-boyfriend of mine and sort-of friend. Suitmate of AD. Sort of an asshole. VERY crude. We tend to play off eachother. Once dropped his pants in the middle of a crowded room. Also, halo teabagged someone in real life. More than once. Signature phrase is "Dicking Fuck." Exemplifies why Physics and Math double majors scare me.
Kara -- basically the person who told me to write this.
Michael Cera -- guy in my program. Actually younger than I am (I was suprised). Very nice. Lutheran boy scout. Might decide to teach chemistry. Analytical chemist.
MK -- The youngest member of the Quad (AC, AD, JP and MK). Computer science major. Bearded. Sometimes more mature than his fellow seniors who can drink. More or less uncorrupted. It was adorable when he had his first girlfriend.
N -- my fabulous Indian roommate. Seriously, she is great. And, she feeds me.
St. Pat -- One of the guys in my program. Older than the rest of us by a few years. A good analytical chemist. Smart. Familiar with the works of Joss Whedon.
T -- my former roommate. Gave me a cold for my brithday. LIke, a stuffed one.

A few definations...

Cell Biology -- a field of biology that is basically their answer to the fact that life is based in chemistry. As a graduate level course, it has involved a 2 day lecture on atomic bonding and the Krebs cycle. These were things covered in my freshman chemistry and biology courses.
Cubby's -- My prefered non smoking bar in graduate school
Macrophage -- Somestimes called Macs; a type of immune cell, and the target of my research. I've been told they're ugly, but I think they're pretty cute when I get to dye them pretty colors with florescent dye or proteins and look at them under the microscope. I get geeky abou them.
Microscope -- Dr.A's big, expensive microscope that looks at cells. It can see brightfield (normal cells) and florescent ones. We can also see if protiens are clumping together with it.
Students -- I teach freshman science majors, except for the ones who want to be chemists. I have a lot of engineers, a handful of premeds and biologists, and quite a few pre-pharmacy. Sometimes agravating, often exhausting, and a huge time suck. I want them to suceed, which, according to my defination, is learn something.

WARNING: Scientific Content

I realize that not all of my readers are scientists (I think maybe 1/3?), and even fewer are chemists. So, I propose a science warning system.

* Basic science. Things you should have learned in school if you had been paying attention. Or... if you don't know this, you need to talk to T because our science education system sucks.

** High School/Freshman college science and math. Stuff I would expect you to know after a calculus class and at least one class in physical and life science.

*** Some scientific knowledge. Let's assume you've had 1+ upper level science course in either biology or chemistry.

****Upper level science. You probably need 3 - 4 years of college chemistry/biology to get this part. Maybe not, though. I'll try to avoid this as much as possible. Sometimes, though, I can't help myself and I geek.